J: I’m never going to have a girlfriend.

Me: Why not?

J: Cause they kiss you. And I’m never going to be a lifeguard.

Me: No lifeguarding, eh?

J: Yeah. They have lots of girlfriends. I don’t want them to kiss me. When I get older and do awesome stuff, girls are going to want to kiss me.

Me: What kind of awesome stuff are you planning to do?

J: Nothing. No awesome stuff–then they won’t want to kiss me! I’m just going to do boring stuff.

Me: Good plan. In fact, if you keep doing all the stuff you love now, like burp and toot, talk about poop…just keep acting 6, basically…it’ll be perfect–you’ll never have a girlfriend!

J: (grins)

Me: What is boring stuff, anyway?

J: Oh, you know, reading, doing dishes. I’ll just do that stuff all the time, that’ll get rid of some of the girlfriends, cause I won’t be spending time with them. Also I can burp and fart a lot!