Joseph and another boy got pulled aside in the hall for goofing around on the way in from recess. They were taking turns knocking the kickball from each other. The teacher who reprimanded about appropriate behavior in the hallway then said to the other boy that Joseph was “acting like a jerk and a bully.”
Joseph didn’t say anything at the time, but came home and told me about it. He was upset at being called those names, as he didn’t feel that was a fair assessment or an accurate definition of a bully. There’s a lot of talk in school these days about bullies, so Joseph is pretty aware of the definition and the teacher, apparently, was not.
I told him that he can always speak up for himself if he feels he’s not treated right, even if it’s in school and by adults. I would always support him for doing that as long as he did it with respect. But, I told him that thinking of what to say or that you should even say anything when you are right in the moment is hard, even for adults, so if you are thinking about it afterwards and still want to make your voice heard, it’s not too late now.
So, I asked him if he wanted to talk to his principal about it or if I should, or if he would rather just let it go. He said he preferred if I talked to her, but that he didn’t want to get the teacher in trouble. Pretty nice of him, I would have toasted her. Anyway, I emailed the principal, careful to relate it as Joseph had explained. The principal talked with Joseph and the teacher, and called me back. She asked if Joseph wanted to have a conversation with the teacher. I said, I didn’t think so, but I would ask Joseph and let her know if he did. During the principal’s recap of her conversation with the teacher, the teacher “did not recall” using those exact words, so I wasn’t about to put him in the position of her taking her embarrassment and frustration out on him and twisting his memory of the event to make him question himself. Not that she would have done that, but seeing as she didn’t even admit it, I would have gone with for that conversation.
I asked Joseph, Are you glad you brought it up or do you wish you hadn’t?
J: Oh no, I’m definitely glad I did. My knees were a little shaky though. But if I didn’t say anything it would just keep illuminating inside me, you know? So, yeah, now I don’t have to keep thinking about it.
I asked him if he wanted to talk to the teacher. He said, no, he was already past it.
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