When I Grow Up
Maddie: I’m going to be a spy when I get big.
Joseph: Maddie, you know being a spy takes more than just looking at stuff through a magnifying glass. You have to carry suicide pills everywhere you go! It’s a dangerous job!
Me: I’m sure there are safer types of spies.
Joseph: No mom, every spy agency would make you have those pills and–
Me: Ok well, anyway Maddie, I thought you were going to be an artist.
Maddie: Well, if I don’t like being an artist, then I’ll just be something else. Like a spy.
Me: And how about you, Joseph?
Joseph: A flight attendant.
Me: Oh?
Joseph: Yeah, I mean, you get to talk into that phone speaker thing. And hand out snacks. And drinks. Seems pretty easy. You get to go places…yeah…pretty easy.
Recycling
Maddie: Today we learned about recycling.
Me: Oh yeah? What did you learn?
Maddie: I learned you can recycle cats!
Me: Cats?! How do you do that?
Maddie: I don’t know. But someone of Ms. Vicki’s, they use the same paper plate for 3 weeks! And a napkin, for 3 weeks!
Me: Impressive. What else did you learn?
Maddie: You can go to the replacement store and get the lens of your sunglasses replaced.
Me: Really? And that’s recycling?
Maddie: Yeah. And they said, string…and water.
Me: What about the cats? I want to know how you recycle cats.
Maddie: I don’t know. How do you recycle water? And string? I still do not know how you recycle cats. That was Jackson’s suggestion.
Me: What was your suggestion?
Maddie: Bottles. And caps. Not the kind of caps you wear on your head though, the kind for a bottle.
Me: Why were you learning about recycling?
Maddie: I don’t know.
Dinner Party
Noah and Maddie came home and started up a dance party. Joseph joined in. They asked Noah what they could do after the dance party and he said, “a dinner party” meaning, dinner. They took it to mean something way more exciting. I was handed a note at dinner that they requested I stand up and read dramatically…
After dinner came the party, where we were required to play Pin the Tail on the Minecraft Horse, and were each given 4 tails. Noah won, although it was a little hard to tell. Then, bedtime.
Do these guys know how to dinner party or what?
Big Brother
M: Mom, you know what the only thing I think about every day is? (No, what?) Joseph. I think about him every minute.
Big Discovery
Maddie: Mom! I just discovered something. When you are far away from something, it’s smaller. But when you get closer — it get bigger!
Cutie (but not patootie)
Maddie, how did you get so cute?
I stopped saying potty words.
Muscle Man
“Check out my muscles!”
“Oooh! Strong!”
“It helps if you have deep armpits.”
Joseph Writes: Haikus
Ocean Haikus by Joseph
Boats float in water.
Fish swim under the ocean.
Kids play on the beach.
Shark eat other fish.
Birds fly over the ocean.
People get sunburned.
Christmas Haikus by Joseph
Decorate the tree.
Hang lights so Santa can see.
Presents under the tree.
Lights are bright.
Santa’s coming soon.
Put out the cookies and milk.
Little Sister Forces
Maddie walked up behind Joseph and startled him–he’s rather jumpy so this isn’t actually too hard to do. “Mads! How did you do that? I mean, just walk up and surprise me like that?” He was a bit flabbergasted. I’m not certain Maddie even knew what she did, but he got a bang out of it and to me he says, “I know how she did it–she’s using her Little Sister Forces on me, that’s how.” He walks away. “Little. Sister. Forces,” he says again, laughing and shaking his head.
Cold Isolation
Joseph: I heard this story about a guy in isolation. One guy was in isolation for 50 years! He couldn’t even talk. Then another guy, he was on a street corner, isolated, but his doctors were near by to make sure he didn’t get hurt. He wanted to get attention. He was a magician.
Noah: In ice.
Joseph: Yeah. In ice. Iceolation.
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