We’re All Winners
Mads: Mom, I had a dream about God. He had 415 trophies and gave one to everyone. But he kept one for his daughter and ones for his two doggies and ones for his mom and dad.
Me: Why did everyone get trophies?
Mads: Because they won.
Me: Everyone won everything?
Mads: Yeah.
Origins
Me: What have you guys been doing down here?
J: Talking. We talked so much that we used up our movie time.
Me: Oh yeah? Chatting away and lost track of time, eh? What have you been talking about?
J: Where we’re from.
Me: Oh. And where are you from?
J: The suburbs.
World Cup
J: You wanna be in the World Cup?
M: Yes Joseph.
J: Well then you gotta practice hard and learn some really cool moves, which I know how to do. 
J: So this is a pull-back. 
J: Ok, Mads–WEAVE!
M: Joseph, here’s my cool move. (She jumps and kicks the ball with both feet at the same time.)
J: Well, I have not seen that one before. Maddie, you are doing a good job. After you practice a lot and win the World Cup, you will get a trophy. And that trophy–it’s made of pure gold!
Out of Gas
Sitting in the car, waiting for Joseph’s bus, I stretched and said, “Boy, am I tired!”
Maddie said, “You are out of gas.”
I pointed to the gauge, “No, we got gas yesterday, remember?”
“No, mom. Your body is out of gas!”
Hymns?
Maddie, looking at Pandora: Hey! That’s a lotta hims.
Easter Bunny
Joseph: Tomorrow’s Easter!
Maddie: Yeah, when Robin the Easter Bunny comes.
Me: Who?
Noah: What, you didn’t know the Easter Bunny’s name?
Maddie: You know, Robin. He comes hoppin’ down the bunny trail…Easter’s on the way!
Joseph: Hoppin’ down the bunny trail in a one horse open sleigh!
Chores
Maddie had the job of putting away the toilet paper…
Best & Worst
Me: So Maddie, tell me what the best part of your day was.
Maddie: Sorting buttons with grandma!
Me: And what was the worst part of your day?
Maddie: The mushrooms in my tuna casserole for lunch.
Rat Pack
Maddie: Mom, is my purse with the red polka dots in my backpack?
Joseph: She sure is a pack rat. Hey, pack rat, rat pack!
Me: You know what the Rat Pack was? A group of actors in the 60s…have you ever heard of Frank Sinatra?
Joseph: That reminds me of snot. Hey, I’m Frank Snotra! *laughs uncontrollably* Snot…traaaaa!
Joseph Writes: How to Make a Cheeseburger
First get two buns.
Next, put the cheese on.
After that, put the burger on the cheese.
Finally, put the ketchup on the burger.
Put the other bun on the burger.
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