Lifeguards
Maddie: Why are there lifeguards at pools?
Me: Well if someone gets in trouble in the water, if they can’t swim, then the lifeguard jumps in to save them. You know Uncle Matt was a lifeguard?
Joseph: I’ll bet he saved a lot of girls!
Maddie: And boys!
Joseph: Probably mostly girls.
Joseph Writes: When I’m 100
When I am 100 years old…. “I will wear glasses and a jacket and I will probably sleep all day. I will say: Howdy!”
New Diet
Joseph: Everybody, tonight is the last night of me being an omnivore. I’m changing into a vegetarian!
Maddie: I’m going to change into a butterfly!
(Later that evening.)
Joseph: Wait–can vegetarians eat brownies?
Maddie: Maybe I’m going to change into a spider, they roll up their food and suck blood out of bugs’ skins.
Maddie Dreams
Mom, do you know what I was just dreaming about? A princess fell and cut her leg and had to go to the hospital.
Which princess?
Snow White.
Did they fix her up at the hospital?
Yeah. Her leg was bleeding a lot. A LOT. They had to put a really big bandaid on her.
Oh wow. How did she fall?
She was on stilts and the Seven Dwarves pushed her.
Joseph Writes: Appreciation
To mommy and daddy:
“I ❤️ you guys because of the things that you do for me!”
The Performer
Joseph played his songs then turned and said, “Well? Where’s my applaudience?”
Joseph Writes: Danger!
I was on the phone when Joseph got home from school, so he urgently wrote out these notes:
“Logs on the driveway!”
“Dad won’t get through!”
Joseph Writes: A Recipe for Sand Pudding
First
Get 1 graham cracker, 1 ziploc, 1 vanilla pudding cup and 1 spoon.
Next
Put the graham in the bag.
Then
I crushed it with my fist.
After That
Spoon it in the pudding.
Finally
I eat it.
Joseph Writes: Snowman Excitement!
“I made a small snowman with snow balls. It was fun. The hat was too big. It melted inside!!!!!!!!!! I had mini carrots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Little Sister
Maddie got distracted playing with a party balloon attached to a stick while she was supposed to be getting her PJs on. The balloon popped and she came downstairs, in the buff, crying. She stopped crying when she saw that waving the stick made it look bendy. “Joseph, look!” she said through tears. “Cool!” he said. She continued waving the stick. I said, “What do you think of your sister, Joseph?” He smiled at her and said, “I think she’s pretty awesome.”
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