Girlfriends
J: I’m never going to have a girlfriend.
Me: Why not?
J: Cause they kiss you. And I’m never going to be a lifeguard.
Me: No lifeguarding, eh?
J: Yeah. They have lots of girlfriends. I don’t want them to kiss me. When I get older and do awesome stuff, girls are going to want to kiss me.
Me: What kind of awesome stuff are you planning to do?
J: Nothing. No awesome stuff–then they won’t want to kiss me! I’m just going to do boring stuff.
Me: Good plan. In fact, if you keep doing all the stuff you love now, like burp and toot, talk about poop…just keep acting 6, basically…it’ll be perfect–you’ll never have a girlfriend!
J: (grins)
Me: What is boring stuff, anyway?
J: Oh, you know, reading, doing dishes. I’ll just do that stuff all the time, that’ll get rid of some of the girlfriends, cause I won’t be spending time with them. Also I can burp and fart a lot!
Princesses
Maddie is naming all the princesses on her placemat. There’s Princess Beauty, Caralina, Scarlo, Princess Kiwi, Evie, Steve Wonderland, Curly Hair, Eva and Eva (there’s two Evas). And of course the mommy princess (which I remind her is the queen): Queen Rachel.
World Cup with Maddie
Watching Brazil v Croatia with Maddie.
M: Where are the girls? There’s a girl!
Me: There’s another game for the girls, this is the boys’ game…that was just a guy with long hair.
M: Where is the dad game?
Me: Well, some of these guys are probably dads.
M: Do those guys have any cats?
Me: There is probably a guy or two who has cats.
M: How about dogs?
Me: Yes. Mads, please move, I can’t see through your head.
M: Do their dogs poop on the carpet?
Me: I hope not. Ok, let’s just watch it, ok?
Brainy 3 Year Old
You just assume they know some basics. You are wrong…
Maddie: “Mommy, look at my brains!”
Eggs
Maddie was helping me to make breakfast and really wanted to get the eggs… Joseph says, “Be careful, Mads, don’t eggs-identally drop them!”
Falling Crumbs
Mads: “Daddy, don’t spill crumbs on me! I’m not a plate!”
Princesses
Me: Maddie, do you have a favorite princess?
M: Um. Yeah.
Me: Which one?
M: Rhino. And Princess Beauty. And mommy and daddy and Joseph.
Hair, There and Everywhere
J: Wow, Mads. If I were tiny, I would jump right into your hair and just lay there. It’s just so big and soft!
Weird
You know what’s weird? It’s weird how when you sit on something that’s plastic…and you are heavier than that thing…it’s weird how it turns white. Why is that?
What did you break?
Nothing.
Car Talk
“Now I’m going to marry the wheels to the chassis.”
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