5th Grade Recess
“Joseph, so what did you do at recess today?”
“Walked around burping at girls and breaking some sticks.”
Deep (Dish) Sleep
“I fell asleep with that piece of pizza last night.”
“Where did you find it?”
“It was stuck to my shirt.”
“Eww.”
“No, it was good. I just ate it.”
Speaking of Ice Cream
Annika: “Speaking of ice cream–where’s dad?”
Hey Google
Annika (age 2) is in the kitchen by herself. I hear: “Hey Google, play NPR.”
[wpvideo ELmfgdx1 ]
Sick Day
“Mom, I’m still sick.” (Fake coughs.) “So you get out one blanket, make me some toast and put on Ponies on TV. I’ll be right back.” (Coughs.) “I’m still sick.”
Still Rated G
Maddie got mad at me. “You dumb buddy mommy jerk!”
Joseph looks at me and says, “It’s hard when you don’t know any bad words.”
cOLD Ladies
J: We didn’t go out for recess today because Mrs G decided it was “too cold.” She’s just an old lady, so she’s always cold.
And one day Mrs White said we couldn’t go out because it was “too humid” and her “hair would get frizzy.” Who cares if your hair is frizzy anyway? So we had indoor recess because of Mrs White’s hair.
Happy Annika
Noah: Happy Christmas! Happy Hanukkah!
Annika: Happy Daddy!
Grandpa’s Lunch
Annika, watching my dad eat his lunch with chopsticks, turns to my mom and asks, “Why is Grandpa eating with pencils?”
(She’s still not sure!)
Next day…
“Here Mom, eat. Did you know you can eat with pencils?”
Goats
A: Grandma read that book about those goats stomping across on that bridge.
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