Joseph was very excited about his field trip to Mount Vernon and the requirement of a bag lunch. Mainly because it meant I’d buy juice boxes for it. He got out the bag and he put in pretzels, 2 juice boxes and a fruit strip. I told him I’d make a PB&J in the morning.

“I know what this needs!” He says, and runs off to get a purse clip. He folds the top of the bag down and clips it, the carries it around the kitchen.

Maddie, watching, says, “Joseph, you need to put your name on it.”

“Oh yeah!” He goes to find a marker. By the time he returns, Maddie has found one and has started to write his name on the bag. “Hey! I can do that!” he says, and proceeds to write with his marker, but leaves off the h.

I point it out, “Sure you don’t want Maddie to help you there?” He laughs and adds the h.

“Joseph, do you want an orange in your lunch?”

“No thanks. I’ll take my chances with scurvy. I choose scurvy! Arrgh!”

Die in Jamestown (Stinky!) or live in Williamsburg! (Clean!)

Jamestown – Fires, dysentery, disease, bad soil, human waste, animal waste! Clearly not the place to live! Or die.

Details pointed out:

• Stinky [with waves of smell]
• No or little trees
• Fire
• That’s a big fly
• Dirty air
• Outhouse on fire
• Human/animal waste
• Nathaniel Bacon [who appears to be laughing “ha ha ha” and whose horse Joseph advises: “Run little horsey before you die”]
• Wilted tobacco (sorry crop owner, no trade for you!)
• No minerals [in soil]

Williamsburg –  Trees, mineral-rich soil, fresh air, no fire, clean (even shiny clean). Clearly the place to live!

Details pointed out:

• Clean [with sparkles]
• Unusually large tree due to rich soil! Tree features: bird, bird nest and an owl hole in a tree
• Clean air
• No more Nathaniel, but there was bacon! [picture of bacon]
• No animal/human waste
• Mineral [in soil]
• Yay little horsey, you made it! [possibly Nate Bacon’s horse that escaped death in Jamestown?]
• [A house] for scale to the tree, which he points out is “not on fire”
• Shiny clean
• Tobacco good enough for a king

[His teacher graded him a 4 (this is the top grade) with the note: Super Job!]

You can feel the bitter cold nipping at your skin.

You can see an icy sheet blanketing everything.

You can hear the soft landing of the snowflakes.

You can smell the comforting smell of smoke from a fire place.

You can taste the bitter cold of a single snowflake resting on your tongue.

The reason for English settlements were money, land and raw materials. (image: King saying, “I want my money!”)

The Virginia Company were stockholders, aka old rich dudes. (image: tombstone that says: RIP Old Rich Dude, aka Stockholder)

The settlers chose the site because they thought it had good water and good land. (image: map)

The problem with the site the settlers chose were the water was stagnant, the soil was marshy. (image: a glass of dirty water with flies buzzing above it and a guy saying, “Eeewww.”)

The hardships that the settlers faced were they sent all the men and no women, they forgot to save any food for themselves, and the rats ate all the food they had saved. (image: a mouse stealing a cob of corn and a guy saying “Hey!!”)

The changes that helped the settlers survive were John Smith took charge and a supply ship showed up right as the settlers left. (image: two ships passing and one saying, “Hi.”)

Details of the French and Indian War. No, not that one, the one set in the West.

The British crushed the French so the French surrendered.

Note the guy sinking and the confused fish.

J: Mom, they are going to teach us Family Life Education, unless you sign this form.

Me: Oh, good.

J: You don’t want to sign the form?!

Me: You want me to? It’s important to know the right names for stuff and how the body works.

J: But in school?! That doesn’t seem appropriate!

Me: Why not, it’s part of education, after all.

—- a few weeks later…

J: So, FLE starts tomorrow.

Me: Oh yeah, what do you think you will learn about?

J: Puberty, body parts, child abuse and hygiene.

Me: Someone read the flyer! Good, maybe they can teach you to scrub your face with a washcloth once in a while.

J: No, not that kind of stuff. And — we’ll be “gender segregated.” But…none of us knows what that is.

Me: It’s separating the girls and the boys. Cuts down on the giggling when they have to say words like “penis.”

J: Mom! (He giggles.) I can’t even not giggle now.

Me: Oh I’m sure there will be plenty of giggling.

J: It still just doesn’t seem appropriate for school!

“Mom, you are not going to believe this, but I found the most inappropriate word today. I mean, it’s not a bad word, just–well… inappropriate. In our school.”

“Is it the word… ‘inappropriate?'”

“No. It’s… (he whispers) ‘condom.’ It’s in the dictionary. In the school. The school’s dictionary! I don’t think anyone else knows it’s there yet, but I found it, and another kid was there too. You should read what it is, you’ll see. You may want to call the school.”