Breaking Glass
“Mom can I try to break a wine glass with my voice?”
Joseph, the chances of you breaking the glass by dropping it are much greater. But, sure, go for it.
He runs off and returns a minute later to ask, “Do you have any protective eyewear?”
No. You’ll probably be ok without it.
(High-pitched scream. Maddie joins in. Then it’s quiet.)
“Well, that didn’t work.”
School Day Morning
The school sends a recorded message from the principal each Sunday with info about the upcoming week. I played it Monday morning, because this week’s was from a mystery caller. They guessed who it was right away. “Ms. Abel!”
Me: She said you can write it down and be entered into a drawing for lunch with the principal or with her. Are you guys going to do that? You guys should do that!
Both at the same time: Naaah.
Joseph: Who wants to have lunch with an, an… adult? (Makes a face.)
Maddie: Yeah, that’s just not a good prize. (Shakes her head.)
Me: Well, it’s Pajama Day, get up and take those pajamas off and put on decent-looking ones.
Joseph: They should have a day where the school doesn’t care about your hygiene.
Sneaking In
The kids’ school has a Mornings with Mom event every year where they serve coffee, fruit and pastries for the moms and kids. There are so many moms that they split it into two mornings, so alphabetically, we were assigned the second morning but I told the kids if Annika was up on the first morning, we’d go then, to avoid possibly having to wake her the next morning. This made Joseph very nervous. The alphabetic split is clearly defined on the flyer, and no matter which of our names, we are solidly in the second group.
“What name will you give them if they ask?”
“How about… Brown?”
“No, that won’t work. I mean, seriously. What will they do if they find out?”
“Probably kick us out. Drag us out by our ears!”
“Ha. Ha. Mom, really, what will happen?”
“Prison time, most likely.”
“Mom!”
“They won’t do anything. It’s allowed, the flyer said if you can’t make it on your day you can come on the other one.”
“But we can make it tomorrow!”
“Not if Annika’s asleep because I’m not going to wake her, so there’s the possibility we can’t go, therefore we’re fine to go today.”
He heaves a big sigh of relief. “Whewww! I feel a lot better about this now.”
Maddie, Singer/Songwriter: The Book of Songs
Move over, Taylor Swift. Introducing: The Book of Songs, by Maddie Shankin
I’m not sure my translations will help with the understanding, but here goes….
I just want to be with you, singing like we’re crazy (yeah, yeah, yeah) / It’s harder than that [puppy biting your] finger. (part of that is erased for some reason) / It’s really hard, I couldn’t even feel [my finger] if the biting tarantula.
It couldn’t be any worse than that / Whatchya want to do about it (yeah, yeah, yeah) / I don’t no what to do, just go crying to your mommy, but you’re not a baby, bro.
Baby, I don’t like you / singing la la la la / I just want to be with you out in the sea / it couldn’t be any harder / I just like you to be with me.
Higher Learning
Joseph and Maddie were discussing school and how many grade levels there are in school. Joseph thought 11, but wasn’t sure.
Joseph: Mom, what’s the highest grade?
Me: 12th
Maddie: Then what?
Me: Then you go to college.
Maddie: Then you go to 116th grade. That’s in heaven. It takes a long time to walk there.
24/7
J: I could do that, like, 24/7.
Me: Do you know what that means?
J: Well, no.
Me: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So, in other words, all the time.
J: Ohhhh. That explains a lot, actually. Ok, well maybe like 2/2 or something then.
Corn Chowder Chef
Joseph wanted to make corn chowder. By himself… I walked him through the steps. Chopping, stirring…
Me: So the next step is to taste and adjust the seasoning. So have a taste.
J: Well, let me see… (tastes). Yep, well it tastes a little like the countryside and I want it to taste more like the seaside. I think a little salt will do it. (Adds a pinch of salt and stirs. Tastes.) Mmmmm. Yep, now it reminds me of the seaside. The fresh ocean air.
Me: Ok then. Do you want to add any pepper?
J: No! (Laughs) I don’t want it to taste like an execution chamber! (Rolls eyes)
(We let it simmer a bit.)
J: Can we have a candlelit dinner? For a nice, gourmet experience? And I’ll get napkins, and roll them up with the utensils like they do in restaurants. I think we should have a side meal too. What can we have for a side meal?
Me: A side dish, you mean? I don’t know, what goes with corn chowder?
J: Applesauce, yeah, your homemade applesauce!
Me: Ok, applesauce it is. What kind of music do you want to have?
J: Some nice jazz. One with a saxophone.
Me: How about Coltrane?
J: Sure.
Dinner is served!
Fines
Joseph: Mom, what does that mean? "Don't block the box."
Me: If there's traffic, you can't stop in the intersection–see they've painted a box so people understand.
Joseph: Whoa, $250 fine if you do!
Maddie: If you block it where are you supposed to leave the money?
Out Into It
"Mom, the world isn't so bad if you just get out into it." (Joseph)
New Flavor
"There should be cone-flavored ice cream! Wait. Nah, that wouldn't be good."
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